Archive for October 2007

What is your Phone number?

October 25, 2007

I go to purchase a half inch pipe cap at Lowes. I pay cash. The checker asks me for my phone number. I tell her I am from out of town. Thats okay, she still wants my phone number. She did not stop until I told her it was unlisted.

She claimed she needed my phone number in case I returned the merchandise. I smilled politely and got out of there without leaving my phone number.

I learned a long time ago not to become adversarial in the face of unreasonable requests. Just leave.

It occured to me that she might be confused. It was pretty obvious that I was not returning any merchandise.

Maybe she wanted to call me up for a date? Nothing wrong with her except she did not have a brain. Some might think that is the ideal date.

I suppose I am just paranoid but I refuse to give out personal information to strangers for no reason other than to satisfy someones desire to pry.

Small, Medium or Large

October 25, 2007

It had been a while since I bought supper at a fast food drive thru, but I had done it before and thought I knew how to do it.

You just drive up to the menu display, decide what you want, then drive up to the speaker to order.

The menu was very specific at this particular Jack in the box. It even had numbers beside the selections. I decided on a number 8. That is when the trouble began.

“I would like a number 8 meal.”

“Small, medium or large?”

“No, I want a number 8 meal, the one for $4.05”.

“Small, medium or large?”

The lady running the speaker had an oriental accent. Reminded me of that no brain bimbo on MadTV, Ms. Swan. The conversation was degenerating into one of those hillarious Ms. Swan skits but this time it was not funny.

“I want the number 8 meal, the one for $4.05, the one with the jumbo jack with cheese”.

“Ah, Jumbo jack with cheese, that will be $1.65.”

“I guess maybe you did not hear me, I want the number 8 meal, the combo that is on the menu priced at $4.05.”

“Small, medium, or large?”

“Never mind. I will eat somewere else.”

I thought it was a good idea to resurect the clown at jack in the box, but I had no idea they would give him an oriental accent, no brain, and put him in charge of the drive through.

The story does have a happy ending. I ended up having the best sausage sandwich I ever had at the BBQ joint around the corner. It cost less than $4.00 and they did not ask me ‘small, medium, or large’.

Jack in the box is broken and I really don’t care if he ever gets repaired because I am not going back there.

‘Small, medium, or large’, INDEED!

What Is In a Title

October 16, 2007

Ever notice that titles eliciting feelings of trust, honor, empathy, fellowship, and good will are often used by organizations and individuals that show no evidence of ever having done anything to support those titles?

I have.

The Meaning of Life

October 16, 2007

Some years ago I came across a copy of the ‘Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy’. One of the topics it addressed was a search for the meaning of life.

On a planet far, far away, the scientists created a computer that ended up being the largest computer in the galaxy. It was networked to all the countries on that planet and consumed nearly 50 percent of the energy resources of that planet. Realizing that they had something very special, the scientists proposed the question to the mega computer. ‘What is the meaning of life?’.

The computer was staffed by an enormous number of attendants who were dedicated to keep it working on the solution over the centuries. These attendants achieved the distinction of becoming priests with time and the entire population of the planet was conscripted to help maintain the computer. After five hundred centuries the project took on the status of a religious endeavor and three years later it finally found the answer to the question.

The answer to the meaning of life was seven.

Are you searching for the meaning of life? Perhaps you might be better off searching for things that give your life meaning.